The Fentons

Gotcha Day Anniversary

2011-07-11T20:18:00.000-07:00

One year ago today Ryan and I met our Allyson Marie. The night before had been full of jet-lag, overwhelming fear, anxiety, some tears(on my part) and some doubts. But, the moment I held Ally for the first time I had no fears. A sense of pure happiness and peace came over me. I'm serious. It sounds cliche, but that's really what happened to me. I look back at videos and I look so happy.

The past month Ally seems to have become such a toddler. My baby is growing up and it saddens me. Ally has gotten so many teeth the past few weeks. She has also weaned herself off bottles. I miss holding her and feeding her a night time bottle. She's now talking in short sentences. I love listening to her talk. Her voice is so angelic. She has also been sleeping through the night. She still stirs in her sleep and screams out, but she doesn't really wake up or need to be rocked back to sleep anymore.

It's been a year already!

2011-05-13T10:20:00.000-07:00

Ally and I Mother's Day 2011
Ally playing in Jacob's sand table.

Ally and her Aunt Whitney

Ally playing peekaboo. This is her new game. She goes in her room, closes the door, and then knocks until one of us come and open the door.

Playing at the daycare's playground. Look at that big mouth!

Happy Baby!

Ally hunting eggs at her first Easter egg hunt.

Ally in her Easter dress on Easter morning.

One year ago today at approximately 4:00 pm my cell phone rang and it was Emily, our agency's China Coordinator. After waiting 6 days from when the first referral rumors came out, we finally got our "call". After over 4 years of waiting I actually wasn't prepared for the call. I was at colorguard try-outs in the band room and I had left in my classroom my list of referral questions to ask Emily. So I asked her if I could call her back in 5 minutes. But, before I let her hang up I asked if we were referred a girl or a boy. I will never forget her words, "You have a girl and she just turned 6 months old." With that news I ran to my classroom to call Emily and get all of our baby's information. Of course, you know the rest of the story....Yue Meidong born on 11-8-09 would meet us, her parents on 7-13-10 and officially become Allyson Marie Fenton, our beautiful and perfect daughter.

With the recent passing of my very first Mother's Day I thought I would list all the things(big and small) I absolutely LOVE about being Ally's mom.

.......I love coming in to Ally's bedroom when she's just woken up from a nap and she is standing up in her crib, her little head barely comes above the crib's railing and when she sees me walk in the room she smiles so big.

.......I love hearing her talk. Her voice is so angelic and innocent. I especially love when she jabbers to herself. She gets so animated!

......I love watching her learn new words. Her vocabulary is extensive for an 18 month old. Of course, I'm a wee bit biased, but I think she is was above average in her vocabulary development.

......I love seeing her figure out how things work, like turning on a light, buckling her seat belt, turning a door know, turning on a water faucet. She's a quick learner, which at times, can be a bad thing!

......I love her sweet little toes! Oh, my gosh, I just want to chew them up they are so precious. And, don't even get me started about how she curls those toes up and wiggles them around.

......I love her little butt cheeks. Nothing is as funny as a naked toddler running around the house. Seeing those little butt cheeks running away from me, I can't help but laugh. And, her butt cheeks are very little, like so little 18 month pants fall straight off her. Baby ain't got back!

.....I love seeing Ally dance. Anytime there is music playing, on the radio or TV, all I have to do is say "Dance baby" and she starts shaking her body, swaying back and forth, and waving her arms in the air. Unfortunately for her, she is like her Mommy and Daddy and has no rhythm.

....I love how Ally has become so accustomed to the lay-out of my school. She can find my classroom, her daycare, the copy room, the door leading to the parking lot, and where Debbie's(one of her Cynthiana aunts)is. She walks these halls like she owns the place!

.....I love witnessing her creating relationships with her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I especially enjoy seeing her get close to Whitney, my sister. I know how much fun being an aunt is, so I know Whitney enjoys it too.

.....I love being called Mommy. I could listen to Ally call me Mommy all day long. It truly is music to my ears.

......I love walking into the daycare to pick Ally up and when she sees me she smiles and yells "Mommy" and runs to me.

.....And, I love when Ally gives me kisses and hugs. When she hugs people she says, "aah". It's so funny. Of course, most of her kisses are very slobbery, but I still love them!

Being a mommy is super hard. The worry about Ally's health and happiness is overwhelming. And I have to admit, I miss those times in my past when I could just go lay in bed and take a nap if I felt like it. But, motherhood is honestly, the most fun and rewarding thing I've ever done with my life. Before Ally, I had no purpose and at many times, no hope. But, now, my life is full of purpose and oh boy I have the most hope-filled life I could ever imagine.

Thank you Dear God!

2011-04-18T18:18:00.000-07:00

Five years ago, April 18, 2006 our dossier was logged in to the Chinese adoption computers(so to speak). The past five years have passed so very fast, but also so very slow. While waiting for the four+ years for our referral time just ticked away at a snail's pace, but since we received that infamous phone call, man, life has passed FAST!

We have surpassed a special date.....March 11. On this day Ally had spent more time with us than she spent in the orphanage. Luckily, Ryan and I have traumatized her too much. She seems to be thriving and actually loves us a BUNCH! She is growing so fast. She has made it to the American Growth Charts in all areas. The best is her head circumference, she is in the 99th percentile! Yes, my girl has a huge head!

Ally continues to grow her vocabulary, she has well over 60 words that she can say in context. It seems lik everyday she surprises me with another word, today while in the copy room at school she kept on pointing to the copier's key pad and saying "push", she wanted to push the buttons. She's amazingly smart. Sometimes she scares me with how smart she really is. I get visions of her taking Calculus in high school and me not being able to help her AT ALL with her homework.

She can walk and run like a pro. She can maneuver up and down stairs with no problem(while holding someone's hand). Tonight she climbed up onto one of our recliners. She can climb off our bed on her stomach just fine. She's like a little monkey.

She's an eating pro. She'll eat anything once. Her favorite school lunch item are beets. Seriously, the child loves beets. I don't even know how to go about cooking a beet, but Ally loves them so I guess I'll have to learn. She loves Mexican food. When we go to a Mexican restaurant she can throw down some chicken tacos and chips! She also loves spaghetti. She can't feed herself with a spoon yet, it's definitely a skill we need to work with her to develop. She's also still drinking Toddler Formula. I tried to transition her to regular milk, but she didn't care for it so I didn't push it. She's getting plenty of nutrients with the formula. She's also found a juice she likes.....Tang. I didn't even know it existed anymore, but my sister had some and Ally gulped some down and asked for more.

I think the best thing, for me, has seen Ally become an integral part of our extended family. She LOVE her cousins. When she gets to play with the cousins she's at her happiest. She hasn't quite learned how to share, but we're working on it She idolizes Abby. She is obsessed with Abby. She loves to watch videos of Abby and talk to Abby on the phone. She even says Abby's name in her sleep.

Life is good. I still look in Ally's eyes and wonder how I became so lucky to have such a joyous gift in my life. Hearing her yell, "mommy" is true music to my ears.

Ally reading with her Pappaw. Ally drawing with her Nana.

Ally goofing off with her cosins.

Ally playing in her tent......the best $10 I've spent in awhile.

Ally learning some colorguard moves. In Harrison Co. we start the kids off early!

This is my FAVORITE picture of Ally. It represents her spirit perfectly!

Ally reading with Abby.

Ally's first haircut.

Typical Afternoon Fun for Ally

2011-02-05T19:45:00.000-08:00

Lately in the Fenton house we have entered a new era.......the "Will Ally ever fall asleep easily again anytime soon?" era. We had a great routine going....pick Ally up from daycare, go home and have a snack, play for a few hours, maybe take a 30 min nap, Daddy gets home and then we play some more, dinnertime, bathtime, play some more, nighttime bottle feeding where Ally falls to sleep(around 9 pm) and her parents get a few hours to themselves before they go to bed.

For the past month Ally has set a new routine..........once she finishes her nighttime bottle she's ready to PARTY. Sometimes she finally goes to sleep as late as 11:00 pm. This new routine is brutal on Ryan and me. So, we've had to set up a new routine for our nights. A big part of this routine includes me trying to tire out my beautiful daughter with as much physical activity as possible. Normally after I pick up Ally from daycare we go straight home. This week I started picking her up from daycare(which is located in the same building where I teach) and having Ally walk ALL OVER the place. Enjoy some pictures of our afternoon adventures.

Ally checking out the parking lot. She likes to watch the busses and once they're gone, she likes to kiss the glass. She'll give the glass a kiss and then turn back to me and laugh.

Ally standing on a desk in my classroom to turn on the lights. A few months ago she learned how to turn light switches on and off. So, everytime we enter or exit a room, Ally's job is to take care of the lights. She takes her job very seriously.

Ally walking around my classroom with her face looking up at the ceiling. (I have pinatas hanging from the ceiling). She reaches up and says, "Pease", meaning "Please hold me up so I can smack at your pinatas."

Ally walking up and down the aisles in my classroom. (Tangent: For so many years I've dreamed about hagning out with my daughter in my classroom after school and now I get to do this everyday. A dream come true. In a few years I'll put her to work helping me grade papers!)

Ally trying to open up a copier's paper drawer. (Notice Uncle Mike in the background.)

Ally walking the halls some more. She LOVES to run away from me. She cackles with laughter everytime!

Ally coming to visit her Aunt Debbie in the computer room.

Ally saying, "Mommy, please give your camera. I've had enough of your picture taking for one day!"

Ally running away from me. She likes to walk out of Debbie's classroom and go next door to the Art room. There's a LOT of stuff for her to gaze at in there!

Aunt Debbie letting Ally help her update the school's webpage.

On a side note......5 years ago Ryan and I were in the USCIS office in Lousville getting our very first set of fingerprints made when we met a couple, Michelle and Kevin and their adopted daughter Lillian. Michelle and Kevin were also getting fingerprints made. They were in the process of adopting a second daughter from China and coincidentally they were using the same agency were were. They told us about their first adoption experience and gave us some advice. It was so nice to meet them! They ended up Logging In with China at the end of May(we Logged in April 18). Well, 8 months ago we received our referral for Ally. Yesterday Michelle, Kevin, and Lillian got to see the first pictures of their new family member, Rose. I'm SO Happy for them. She's absoultely stunning and has the most precious lips and chubby cheeks. We'll be keeping them in our prayers that the next few weeks pass by quickly so they can travel to China and get their girl!

6 months ago....

2011-01-11T19:22:00.000-08:00

Six months ago Ryan and I walked into a government office in Nanchang, China. There on the 26th floor we nervously waited to meet our daughter. When I held her for the first time, I've never felt such peace and calm.

We are a match made in Heaven!

Our Happy and Busy life.

2011-01-06T11:08:00.000-08:00

The entry is below these pictures. I'm having trouble moving the entry above the pictures. I don't know what I'm doing wrong

This is a family picture taken at Christmas Mass.

I don't know if Ally is smiling or whining here.

Ally smiling for the camera on her 1st birthday, Nov 8, 2010.

Ally taking a ride in her new car that she got from us for her birthday.

Ally with her Mammaw at her 1st Thanksgiving.

Ally waiting patiently for her bath.

Ally walking with her new walking toy.

Ally being animated and entertaining.

Opening up gifts on her first Christmas.

Ally's Baptism Dec 10, 2010

Wow, a lot has happened since my last post.

The biggest change for me is my returning to work. I love teaching, but I have lost some of my passion for it. I now have a passion for being a mom and spending time with my Ally. I guess this is a normal progression, but it has surprised me. Before Ally, I spent so much time creating lesson plans, grading papers, agonizing over discipline issues etc. Now, I get done what I can by 4:30 and then I pick up Ally from daycare. What doesn't get done at school doesn't get done. Sure, I still grade the occasional paper at home, but it's not like I used to be.

Ally has changed so much!! Here are a few of her accomplishments:
--She now has 4 teeth with three more pushing through.(teething sucks!)
--She began crawling after her first day of daycare. She is a great crawler, very fast and determined.
--She is now on table food. She likes: peas, green beans, carrots, potatoes(mashed or fried), sweet potatoes, pasta, chicken, pork, turkey, cheese(string cheese), peaches, pears, Gerber Veggie Puffs, Gerber Banana Cookies, Cheerios, hot dogs, and rolls.
She doesn't like: grapes
--She turned 1 year old on Nov 8.
--We moved her out of the baby bath tub into the real bath tub. She loves taking a bath! She isn't afraid of water at all. In fact, this week she has started putting her face under the water. Maybe she'll be an Olympic swimmer!
--Our family took a trip to Nashville the week before Christmas. So, Ally got to experience a hotel outside of China. She loves hanging out with her cousins!
--She has been talking so much. Here are some of her words: Dada, Mama, Pappaw, Mammaw, Nana, Kitty, bottle, tree, dog-dog, cold, school, no(she says this one A LOT!!) boo, hi, hello, bye-bye, big, coo-coo(cookie), ish(fish), go-go, pwease(please), mo(more)..She also signs please and more.

--She can point to her head, mouth, nose, belly, and toes when I ask her Where is.....?

--She was baptized on Dec 10.

--She had her first ear infection. So, we had our first non-well baby doctor visit.

--We turned her carseat to face forward....it's a whole new world for her now!

--We have switched from infant formula to toddler formula. In a month or so I plan on transitioning her to milk.

--She can(with some assistance) feed herself with a spoon.

--We've begun brushing her teeth. This is a work in progress. She'll let us put the toothbrush in her mouth and brush a few times and then she's done.

--And, just this week she began to take some unassisted steps. She can walk about 4 steps before she plops on the ground to crawl. Yeah for our big girl!

I still have moments when I look at Ally and think, "Is this real? It's truly unbelievable at times that Ryan and I are parents. Ally is perfect for us. I don't know how the CCAA decides which baby to assign to each family, but they couldn't have placed a more perfect little girl with us.

Being a first time mom is scary. I don't know what I'm doing really. I'm flying by the seat of my pants. I just take it day by day. I'm learning a lot and becoming more comfortable with things. Sometimes I wonder if Ally thinks Ryan and I are crazy! We are, to an extent a little crazy, but we are so clueless sometimes. Ally rolls with the punches though!

Exploding Heart

2010-08-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

It's been six weeks since Allyson Marie was placed in my arms. What I remember from that day is an overwhelming, complex sense of peace that filled my soul. The night before I had been SO SCARED and nervous and truly doubtful. But, when the moment came, there was nothing but great feelings surrounding me. When I look at pictures from that day, July 11, it's almost as if I don't recognize myself. I look so happy and content with life. The 4 and 1/2 year long wait for our daughter took a huge toll on me, but that day changed all those feelings into true love and happiness.

Over the past 4 and 1/2 years I did a massive amount of research about attachment. I wondered if Ally would attach to Ryan and me as her parents, but I also wondered if I would attach to her. What if I didn't attach to Ally like a mother would to her daughter? It happens, this scenario, the scenario of two overly excited adults who have waited for such a long time for their child only to suffer through many painful months where it seems as if they're just a babysitter to this stranger of a child. I said a lot of prayers begging and pleading with God to please let me love my daughter upon first sight.

I felt a lot of things when I met Ally. I felt an overwhelming love for this child who was scared and confused. I felt obligated to provide a great life for her. I felt a great deal of gratitude to finally have a child. I felt a great sense of worry for health and well-being. Yes, I attached to her and she to me, perfectly, it seemed.

But, something happened this week...my heart exploded for my child. All of a sudden when I wasn't with her, my heart ached. When she was asleep I anxiously awaited a cry from her signaling she needed me to soothe her. When she smiled at me, tears came to my eyes. These weren't sad tears, but pure happy tears. I was suddenly so proud of this child who seems like the bravest person I've ever met.

So, I understand now, when someone says motherhood changes you. Of course, motherhood changes your life's schedule and routines, this goes without saying. But, now I know how it is to love something more than you even knew was possible. I love Ally so much it hurts.

My prayers it seems were answered. Thank you, God.

Gotcha Day.....Revisted

2010-07-30T07:01:00.000-07:00

We arrived in China on Saturday July 10 at 11:30 pm. We had been on flights for over 20 hours. We were exhausted. Our travel guide, Li Ping met us at baggage claim at the Nanchang Airport. His first words to us, "You get your daughter tomorrow." Wow, tomorrow was only 30 min away. We became very overwhelmed. We had thought we'd have at least a day to recover from jet lag and get mentally focused on being parents. So, needless to say I (melanie) had a wee bit of a mental breakdown once we arrived at the hotel. I was nervous, anxious, scared, and super tired. Whitney(my sister) helped me through it. Thank God she was there.

The next day, after waking up and trying the hotel's breakfast buffet and then going to the grocery store next door to get some formula and diapers, we loaded a van to travel to our daughter.

I'll let the pictures do the talking...................................

This is where we met Ally, the 27th floor of a building.

The Orphanage workers arrive with the babies. (Can you pick out which baby is Ally?)

A moment 4 1/2 years in the making..........Ryan and I being handed over our daughter, Yue Meidong a.k.a. Allyson Marie Fenton

The only tears we had from her, she had to be so scared.

I'm checking out my girl, she's checking us out too.

Ally meets her Pappaw for the first time

On our way back to the hotel

Ally Skyping her Nana for the first time

All cleaned up and ready for dinner

Our first family photo, in the restaurant at the Jiangxi Hotel

The Orphanage Visit

2010-07-29T05:13:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the entry being underneath the pictures. Also, the pictures aren't in the order I'd like them to be in. Bear with me, it seems I've forgotten how to blog!

Ally's nanny saying good-bye to her for the last time.

The baby beds in Ally's room.

The nanny's mother rocking a baby to sleep while holding another baby.

An emotional picture of all of us

The view outside Ally's room

A chair the babies sit in, kind of like a baby walker. This chair caused the scars on Ally's legs.

The nanny holding Ally and Chloe for the first time since they were adopted

The bed in Ally's room, we assume the nanny, her mom, and son all sleep on this bed

A baby in Ally's room. This type of basket is where all the infants sleep

The medical room in the orphanage

The Yugan County SWI(orphanage)

A picture with the orphanage director

This picture was taken at the location Ally was abandoned. It is at the orphanage gates.

This is an excerpt from an entry I posted on my other blog.

On Thursday we traveled to Ally's orphanage, the Yugan County Social Welfare Institute. The drive was treacherous. Some roads were paved, some were gravel, some were mud. There were water buffalo randomly placed along the sides of the roads throughout our journey. when I think of Ancient China I think of Rice Paddies and people with traditional straw hats on. On the way to Yugan Co, we saw just this scene. It really was beautiful. We also saw a lot of poverty.

When we got into the city two orphanage officials met us and took our van to the various children's finding places. One child was found in an alley by the town's hospital, another by the gates of the old orphanage. Our Ally was found by the gates of the current orphanage. THe orphanage has babies, children of all ages and then it also houses senior citizens. When we arrived at the orphanage we were taken to a conference room where a table was covered in fresh fruit for us to eat. It was a gorgeous spread, however none of us ate anything other than bananas because they were the only fruit we could peel. We handed over our donations to the orphanage director. Many of the workers had come to the room to see the babies. They all knew which baby was which. Ally was referred to as "Dong Dong".

After we met in the conference room we were taken to the babies' rooms. This orphanage has rooms where a nanny lives with the babies. It's like the nanny's apartment. Ally was in Room 3. Her nanny, the nanny's mom and son all live in this one room apartment with, currently, 2 infants and a toddler. The room was small, about the size of my classroom. It had the nanny's full size bed, some shelves, a few baby beds, two wicker baskets which the infants were sleeping in, a small bathroom. There was a small balcony attached to the room. There was also a TV.

The nanny reached out to hold Ally and Chloe(another baby in our travel group who also lived in the same room). She walked over to the balcony windows and cried. She loved our babies. Many people upon discovering we're adotping from China have made comments about us saving the baby and rescuing the poor baby from the desperate situation. Let me get on my soap box and say that I in no way believe Ryan and I rescued Ally from a horrible situation. By America's standards, yes, the living situation was very simple. But, I know that above all else, a child needs love. There is no doubt in my mind that Ally was loved SO MUCH in the 8 months before we met her. Her nanny cried with the tears of a true grieving mother. In my mind ally has 3 mothers: her birth mother, her nanny, and me. I cannot imagine the heartache the nanny went through last Sunday when she said good-bye to Yue Mei Dong, a baby she had cared for for so long. I cry just thinking about it. I hugged the nanny and cried right along with her. I cannot thank her enough for taking such good care of my baby.

Ally, in all honesty, rescued me. In the 6 days she has been with us, this child has taught me about the deepest love I've ever felt. I never knew how much I could love a person. It's as if Ally has been in my heart forever. I sound so cliche right now, I'm sure, but, it's true. And, without her nanny, none of this would have been possible. So, Ryan and I will ensure that Ally knows all about her life before she came to us.

The orphanage visit the most profound moment I've had in my life so far. I can't do it justice here in this blog.

Presenting some pictures.......finally

2010-07-26T07:43:00.001-07:00

Picture Decriptions:

1)Red Couch Picture....All the children on the couch are in our travel group. THey are all West Sands babies, West Sands is our agency.
2)This is our Nanchang travel group. We were with these people for the whole China trip.
3)Ryan and I really became close with one of our fellow travel families, Maria, Todd, and their newly-adopted daughter Sarah. They live in South Carolina. They made our trip fantastic. Becoming first-time parents with them, was unbelievably wonderful. We plan on staying in contact with them for many years to come.
4)This is Ally in the arms of Li Ping, our travel guide. Li Ping has made China adoptions his life's work. He is a true advocate for all the China babies. He was a truly amazing man, funny, super well-organized and he "knew the ropes" as our other guide reminded us. We will miss him terribly.
5)Here is ally all dressed up in her Chinese dress and pretty new silver shoes for her red couch photo.
6)I LOVE this picture. This outfit was given to me by Kayla for Ally shortly after we recieved our referral. kayla was one of my Spanish students. She graduated in 2006 and now attends the University of Louisville studying nursing and currently has a 4.o GPA. Can you tell I'm proud of her? Ally is going to adore her!

We are home!

2010-07-25T20:57:00.000-07:00

We are finally home from our 2 weeks China adventure. (Unfortunately I couldn't access this blog in China, so I will begin the process of posting a multitude of pictures on here for everyone to see).

Ally did so well on our flight from Shanghai to Detroit. The flight the night beofre from Guangzhou to Shanghai was HORRIBLE. Ally cried the enitre time. We couldn't get her calmed down at all. It didn't help that we were delayed 3 hours and the plane was not air conditioned. It was bad. So, I was dreading the 15 hour flight to the USA. Luckily Ally was a happy baby. She only cried once and that was because she was hungry. She was a favorite of all the flight attendants. They came back to check on her and us often. (We had the BEST flight attendant ever. Her name was Debra. She found us three seats together by my sister. She brought us hot water for Ally's bottles and then even cleaned the bottles for us. She was amazing!) Ally has this new habit of screaming in joy and kind of grunting happily. She did this on the flight a lot. I'm sure she woke people up. She slept a lot of the flight and drank regular bottles and had some baby food. We couldn't had asked for anything better.

She is beginning to learn her new home. She loves her Bumbo seat! She sits in it and plays with her stacking cups and other new toys that were here waiting for her. She slept in her play pen last night and took naps in it today. Tonight I put her in her crib. She loves watching her mobile. Ryan had to take his mom back home tonight(she spent the night with us last night so we could slep in today. Thank God!) So i had a 4 hour span when it was just me and Ally. We played and talked, but as soon as I left the room she would cry loudly. As soon as I would come back in the room she would smile and laugh. This could be a bad sign of how it'll be once Ryan goes back to work.

The cats are HAPPY to see us. They don't really know what to think of Ally yet. When she squeals or cries Lucky meows. Max let her grab his tail. Hopefully they'll attach to her as much as she has attached to us.

This weeks tasks:

1)Schedule a well-visit with Dr. Besson so he can look Ally over.
2)Switch from Chinese formula to the Similac our Doctor gave us.
3)Buy a baby monitor and a baby bath tub.

I almost forgot.......when we got home last night our house had been decorated for our arrival. Our friends had made a gorgeous welcome banner. And, some band students had strewn streamers everywhere and had chalked our car windows and from bay window and front door. It was cute. We took pictures before it rains and washes it all away.

We're all packed!!!

2010-07-08T22:35:00.000-07:00

Well, our bags are packed! We have filled our suitcases over the weight limit, so we're praying that the airline gods have mercy on us. Ryan and I are preparing to pay for going over the limit.

Personally, I'm feeling super nervous and anxious about our trip. This adventure is 4 years in the making. I'm preparing myself for the worst.....that Ally is going to hate us. I hope her grieving period is brief, for her sake. I want her to be happy. She deserves all the happiness in the world!

Of course, I'm worried about leaving Max and Lucky(our cats). They'll be fine. Our friend Mike will be our pet caretaker while we're gone. He'll make sure they stay fat and sassy!

Keep us in your prayers, both for a safe trip, but also a trip filled with wonderful memories.

The Love of My Life

2010-06-27T20:05:00.000-07:00

The title of this entry is misleading. Many people would comment about their husband as being "the love of my life", and Ryan is my husband and my one true love. But, the love of my life is much younger, she's only 8 years old. My niece Abby is "the love of my life".

On May 14, 2002 Abby was born into my family's life . She was my sister's first child, my first niece, and the first grandchild on both sides of the family. To say that she soon became the center of our universe is really putting it mildly. The first three weeks of her life I woke up early(waking up early during my summer vacation is very rare) and drove the hour long drive to my sister Whitney's apartment so I could take care of Abby as Whitney healed from her c-section and dealt with some post-partum anxiety issues.

Many mornings when I arrived in Lexington Abby was asleep. I would secretly wake her up, feed her a bottle, change her, and hold her for hours upon hours. We watched TV together, we would sit out on the deck together, we would have conversations(one-sided of course)about life, boys, the weather, etc. I was enthralled and enchanted with this child. I still am.

Over these past 8 years Abby has become my shadow, my first-child of sorts. We've had numerous sleep-overs where we've stayed up late, late into the night watching Disney Channel shows, eating cheetos, and singing and dancing. Yes, even I sing and dance in front of Abby. She certainly is way more talented in the music and dancing areas than me, and she makes sure to let me know it too. I have video tapes of her making music videos and she loves to record herself singing on my cell phone. Whenever I need a little pick-me-up I'll pull out one of her music videos or listen to one of her recorded songs. It warms my heart.

Over the past four years I've known that our sister-kinship will undergo a makeover. When my baby Ally gets here, things will never be the same. It's scary and so bittersweet. I yearn for my daughter, but I also feel such love for Abby too.

Last night Abby and I had a hotel sleep-over. Before we went to sleep Abby mentioned how on our next Girls' Night Out Ally will be with us. I can't wait!

Abby is so excited for her cousin Ally to get home. Abby will teach her so many things about life and "being cool". Ally is one lucky girl to have such a great cousin. And, I'm one super-duper lucky Aunt to have the best niece in the world!

Birth Story Part Uno

2010-06-09T18:58:00.000-07:00

I want to share parts of what I consider Ally's "birth story". From the very beginning of our adoption it was important for me to know what I was doing they day Ally was born. So, I was vigilant about keeping a journal. Every night I would write down what I had done, who I was with, and how I was feeling(emotion-wise). Some days I just wrote a bulleted-list of some stuff, but other days I wrote so much about what was going on in my heart and how I was thinking about our daughter and couldn't wait to meet her.

Nothing really ever happens as I plan....the wait just kept getting longer and longer and I eventually lost my patience. I stopped keeping a journal. It became another reminder that Ryan and I were still childless and that we had no hope that the light would ever be at the end of the tunnel.

So, fast forward to this past Fall........For those that don't know, I've spent the past 11 years coaching/sponsoring our high school's Colorguard. From the 4th of July thru Thanksgiving my life is a mixture of practices, competitions, teenage girl drama, band booster meetings, hot bus rides, and lots of laughter, tears, smiles, and high fives. Colorguard has become a way of life for me(and Ryan too as much as he dislikes it!).

Last season was my "last" season. I knew in my heart that we would have our Ally before the 2010-2011 marcching season began. Our last competition is always the KMEA State Marching Band Pre-lims and Finals. Last season our Pre-lim competition was held at South Oldham High School on November 7, 2009. After we performed, there were hugs and crying. For the Seniors, it could've been their last performance(we had to place in the top 4 to perform at Finals).

For me, my coaching era was winding down. It was bittersweet. I knew deep-down that my time in the near future would be as a mommy, but all these kids who I've dearly love would no longer be in my life. It was very emotional for me.

Before the announcement of finalists, I needed some alone time. I couldn't go over to the field to hear the results, it was WAY TOO stressful. So, I went into our semi and sat down on a bench in the back and waited. It was so quiet and peaceful. The serenity only lasted for about 5 min before my cell phone began to vibrate with text messages informing me that Harrison County hadn't qualified to perform.

The bus ride back to the hotel was quiet excpet for the occasional sniffle from the crying. Sitting in the stands watching finals was hard; it was my last finals and I wasn't on the field with my kids.

The next day, November 8, 2009 was also emotional. So many of the band parents are VERY close friends of mine. We see each other everyday. It's sad to know that only sporadically would we get together now.

Fast forward to May 13, 2010 when I receieved "the call". Emily, our China Coordinator quickly over the phone gave me all of Ally's information. The most important detail for me was her date of birth. She was born on November 8, 2009. So, at a time when I was going through an 'end' of sorts, my life was really just beginning. As I was saying good-bye to a part of my life, the biggest part of my life was just coming into the world......thousands of miles away.

I don't have a journal entry ot look back on to know what I was doing and feeling on Ally's birthday. I don't need one, I know exactly what I was doing and all the emotions going through my hear and heart.

Interestingly, I have a picture of myself taken on November 7, 2009. I like to think that with the time difference, Ally was being born or had just been born on the afternoon of Nov 7.

If only I had known then what a blessing was tkaing place in China at that moment. Would I have smiled even bigger?

Congratulations!

2010-05-31T19:23:00.000-07:00

My college roommate Betteenia, whom I lovingly call Teen-Teen, has been trying to get ahold of me since Friday. I finally called her back this afternoon. I'm so glad I did because.........SHE'S PREGNANT!!!! Betteenia has a son, Ashra, who is nine years old and is such a GREAT kid. He'll be a wonderful older brother! Ryan and I are so happy for Teen and her husband Damian. I can't wait to see if she's carrying a boy, or a girl, or maybe even twins(Did I mention that Damian is a twin?)

Betteenia and her husband Damian

College Roommates(14 years since we've been in college) Betteenia and I

Updated Pictures of Our Girl!

2010-05-29T20:20:00.000-07:00

Today we received updated pictures of Ally through Ann at Red Thread China. Ann has been an absolute godsend. The services she provides are invaluable to adoptive families. I'm so thankful I heard about her.

My Babies

2010-05-25T20:29:00.001-07:00

Four years ago I taught all Spanish One classes. This was intended to be an 'easy' teaching schedule because I was planning on being on Maternity Leave during the Spring semester. I remember explaining to my students, then Freshmen, that if they didn't like me they were in luck because I would be gone during the Spring adn they would have a substitute.

As the wait increased and increased, my students grew up. Now, they are Seniors. I only have 3 more days with them. They have been with me during this whole adoption process. They've asked SO MANY TIMES, "Mrs. Fenton, when are you going to get your baby?' They've been concerned for this child every step of the way.

Two weeks ago I got to introduce these students to the picture of my Ally. They are excited for me and still ask, "Mrs. Fenton, when are you going to get your baby?"

As a teacher, I'm lucky enough to have students like my Seniors who have compassion, great senses of humor, maturity, and sympathy for certain depressing situations. Don't let any teacher try to fool you. No teacher stays in this profession because of the summers off. We stay in this profession because we enjoy our students. Students make us want to come to school. Without great kids, no teacher would enjoy their job.

So, for a certain group of kids, they've been students of mine each day of their high school year. I don't know what I'm going to do when they graduate. I will miss them horribly.

Our Baby Shower

2010-05-23T18:47:00.001-07:00

Today my sister Whitney and my step-mom Amy threw Ryan and me a baby shower. I've had visions and plans of what I wanted our shower to be, and luckily I was able to bring everything to fruition. Our closest friends and family attended. They gave us so many lavish and generous gifts. We are truly blessed to have these wonderful people in our lives. I'll let the pictures tell the story.

This was the delicious cake! My sister ordered it, she did such a great job! It was strawberry-flavored. Yum!!!

I had the Engineering class at school enlarge a map of China for me. Ryan and I took a picture of Ally's head and glued it on the map next to Nanchange which is the Province she was born and has lived. (I apologize for the glar, but I had to use a flash.) We titled it "Where is Ally?"

This is me standing next to Ally's 100 Good Wishes Quilt.

Ryan and me opening up gifts with the help of Abby. She had a blast!

More me and Abby opening up gifts.

This is the room where we ate all of the goodies. We had bright tableclothes, gerber daisy arrangements(artificial), and jar votive candle holders on each table. It was VERY festive!

This is what greeted people as they entered the building. Ryan had Ally's "buddha" picture(which is what I have nicknamed it) enlarged.

It's a new day.

2010-05-19T13:32:00.000-07:00

The past 4 days have been extremely difficult. On Thursday night Ryan and I were elated with seeing our daughter for the first time, 24 hours later we were both at the hospital when one mother saw her daughter alive for the last time.

I don't try to know why, it just makes me angry.

Over the past four year I've wanted this adoption to just happen already! At the beginning of the school year I thought I would be in China at this time and have the whole summer off with my baby. But, maybe God does have a plan. If I had been in China when the accident happened and not been here to support my kids, I would've been heart-broken.

So, it's time to start focusing on getting our Ally home to her Mommy and Daddy. This morning I over-nighted to our Kentucky agency(KAS):
1)The Letter of Acceptance
2)The Letter of Seeking Confirmation from Adopter
3)The Letter of Seeking Confirmation
4)The Family Profile

Next on my agenda is to print out a VISA application and begin to understand what I need to do to get those finished for Ryan and me.

I think tonight I'm going to email someone from Red Thread China about sending a care package to Ally. For those that don't know, a care package usually has an outfit, some candy for the nannies, a baby blanket, a disposable camera, and a translated letter from the adoptive parents. We can also request additional information about our daughter from the orphanage. The price is very reasonable too.

Some sadness....

2010-05-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

Two days ago I was on top of the world. I had finally seen my daughter's face. Ryan and I sent 'birth announcements' to all our friends and families. Last night we drove to Lexington to celebrate my niece Abby's 8th birthday then we went to Babies 'R Us and started a gift registry. Once we got back home we realized we needed some cat food. We were in the check-out line at Wal-Mart when a student asked me if I had heard about the accident.

Four of our band kids were involved in a terrible car accident, only three survived. Brittany Cordray, a Senior, one of my colorguard girls passed away. I met Brittany when she was only 11 years old. She was trying out to be in the Harrison Co. Marching Band's Colorguard. She was SO SHORT. It was hard for her to spin a flag without the pole hitting the ground. Six years later she became one of our captains.

I'll remember her laugh most of all. It was loud and contagious. Many times on the guard bus I would have to turn around and ask Brittany and Rachel to quiet down. They loved to laugh.

Brittany would do anything I asked of her, as a guard member and captain. She performed her heart out each and every time she took the field. I LOVED to watch her perform, she was pure perfection.

Being a teacher is difficult. We have students who hate school, hate teachers, are surly and rude. It's those rare times when a student smiles, says thank you, lets you motivate them, and encourages those around them. Although rare, it's these exact moments that dignify my job. Brittany made me love my job!

I have been blessed to know this child for the time I did. And, I will always remember her.

This was taken at Senior Night this past fall. Brittany was escorted by her parents, Mike and Pan into the field for recognition.

This picture was taken less than a month ago at the Senior Prom. Brittany is the first girl on the left. Her dress was so punkish-cute, short and sassy, just like her.

This picture was taken at the Football Homecoming this past Fall. My niece Abby was the Little Miss HCHS. She stood on the field with the band during the "tunnel" pre-game festivities. Brittany is on the far right.

This picture was taken at our annual "night before State Finals" guard get-together in Mrs. Fenton's hotel room. Brittany is the young lady in the blue shirt, second girl on the right.

Introducing Ms. Allyson Marie Fenton

2010-05-13T18:35:00.000-07:00

Here's our beautiful daughter...................

This is her Daddy's favorite

Look at those long fingers!

It's a girl!!!!

2010-05-13T15:22:00.000-07:00

I received the phone call this afternoon. She was born on Nov 8, 2009 (only 6 months old!). She is in the YuganCounty Orphanage in Jiangxi Province. Her name is Yue Mei Dong. More info later........

Still waiting and Piggly Wiggly.

2010-05-13T08:03:00.000-07:00

Last night Ryan and I received an email from Emily, our China Coordinator, she was letting us know that West Sands as of yesterday's mail, had not received our referral. So, we're still waiting. I can't wait until I can post some good news on this blog! It kind of feels like the Pony Express is bringing our referral package. I hope those ponies hurry up!

Onto another totally unrelated topic........................Have any of you ever heard of the grocery store chain the Piggly Wiggly? I had never seen one until I went to college. I rarely shopped there while at Murray State, I had no reason to. Well, each year when our family goes to Hilton Head, South Carolina for summer vacation, we stop by Piggly Wiggly to stock up on supplies. Last summer my sister and I really wanted to buy a t-shirt from there because they were so 'different' for lack of a better term. Fast forward to a few months ago when one of my students got back from Spring Break from Savannah, Georgia. This young lady came to school wearing a Piggly Wiggly shirt. She got excited that I knew exactly what the store was. So, we decided that today we would both wear our Piggly Wiggly t-shirts. We're going to take a picture(I'll post on here later.)

Oh, the excitement of my little world...............................................

Still waiting......somewhat patiently

2010-05-12T10:59:00.000-07:00

Last night our wonderful China coordinator Emily emailed us to let us know that West Sands was still waiting on their package of referrals. The email explained that West Sands (which is located in St. George, Utah) doesn't have DHL in their city. So, the referrals have to come through the regular mail. Part of me is trying to remain patient and just let things happen as they happen, but there's another part of me that wants to scream that in the year 2010 we're waiting for snail mail to deliver the most precious news of our life. It's very frustrating and emotionally debilitating. I know I'm probably just being dramatic. Lo Siento.(I'm sorry).

In other news, Cynthiana got over an inch of rain in a little over an hour today. So, when I go home tonight I'm fully expecting to see Max and Lucky(our cats) doing the backstroke in our basement!

Still no phone call.....

2010-05-11T12:06:00.000-07:00

We still haven't received a phone call. I'm at school trying to focus on something other than waiting for the phone to ring. I decided I couldn't focus on teaching today so my students are getting a day away from Spanish. I'm letting them watch a movie. This is rare, so it's their lucky day!

I'm trying to stay patient and positive.

Phone Calls!!!

2010-05-10T09:24:00.001-07:00

The Rumor Queen is reporting that Phone Calls are being made!! I've talked with our agency and they've called West Sands(our placement agency) and they haven't received referrals yet. Every time I get an email or my phone vibrates my heart skips a beat! So exciting!

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T09:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a very special day for our family. It was Abby's First Communion! She looked like an angel in her dress and veil. I thought she was the prettiest girl there and when I told her this she said, "I thought the same thing." Ha!

As we were driving to the church Ryan and I hit some MAJOR traffic. This brought out the absolute worst in me. I really didn't want to miss seeing Abby's big day especially since we had missed Emma's baptism last week(due to the flooding of our basement!). Every route we took took to get to the church had so much traffic. I was at my wit's end! I began to cry and may have said a few choice words about Lexington, my life, and even God himself. (It wasn't one of my better moments) Ryan was equally as upset, but he did manage to say the sweetest thing to me. (Keep in mind this "sweet" thing was in between his constant urging nag for me to "GO 65 mph" and "Just execute") One of my cussing rants had to do with my deceased mammaw and Ryan's recently deceased grandfather never being able to meet our daughter Ally. Ryan then assured me, "Honey they've already met Ally. In fact, they've been taking care of her until we get her." Amazing words and so comforting to me! I love imagining mammaw holding ally and watching over her while we are here waiting to see her picture. And, I know Ryan's grandfather, Robert is teaching her how to pray the Rosary.

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom Mary, My step-mom Amy, and my Mother-in-law Jan! Ryan and I couldn't have survived the past 4 years without their emotional and spirtual support. They are great role models for us!

Espana and Referrals

2010-05-08T10:40:00.000-07:00

All that Spanish education of mine is coming in handy! If my translations are correct...According to the Spanish Rumor Queen, referrals have made it to the Madrid-Barajas Airport. Hopefully this rumor is true and referrals are making their way to airports here in the United States!

Oh, my, could it be..........?

2010-05-06T20:16:00.000-07:00

The Rumor Queen has an R1 rumor that referrals may be on their way. I don't know what to think. Just thinking that this time tomorrow Ryan and I could possibly have a picture of our daughter Ally, takes my breath away. I can't stop smiling. I'm actually a little giddy with excitement. Could I spend this Mother's Day as a soon to be Mom? Who knows? I'm ready for "The Phone Call" Cross your fingers!

Ladybugs......

2010-05-03T20:04:00.000-07:00

No news from China today. Hopefully tomorrow we will start to hear some positive rumors!

Some of you may know that the ladybug is a mascot of China adoptions, of sorts. This afternoon my sister said she had a ladybug land on her shoulder and it stayed on there for a very long time. She couldn't get it to fly away. So, maybe, just maybe, this is a very good sign. Bring on the ladybugs!!!!!

I'm going crazy!

2010-04-30T19:05:00.000-07:00

It's been awfully quiet on the China Adoption Rumor front. I was really hoping to hear from my agency on Monday May 3 with a referral. So many of my friends have asked me, "How do you stay so calm". Deep down, I'm the farthest from calm. Every waking moment I have my mind wanders to my Allyson. I wonder if she is in an orphanage or a foster home, whether she is healthy and fells loved, how old she is and even if she may actually be a boy. (If we are referred a boy. we'll be in such trouble. We are all-prepared for a girl!). Through the four year wait I've learned that if I just keep my worries and anxiety to myself, it's a whole lot easier to deal with everything. I'm lucky to have such supportive friends and family!

But, in all honesty.......BRING ON THE PHONE CALLS AND THE REFERRALS!!!!

In other news, it an attempt to keep myself busy and without a lot of free time to worry about things, I volunteered to work at the Kentucky Derby tomorrow. I'm getting up at 4am to drive to Louisville and sell concessions as a fundraiser for our band. The weather forecasters are calling for some MAJOR rainfalls this weekend. I just pray we are under cover somewhere. I'm excited to experience the Derby for the first time!

When, when, when...........

2010-04-28T18:19:00.000-07:00

There is a rumor floating around that matching has begun!! Could we hear some news this week? next week? Who knows, but it's definitely an exciting time!

(There's so much to love about this picture.....the Alps in the background, you can almost hear songs from The Sound of Music in your ears, and look at these faces....pure bliss. )